“I will lead the blind by a way they did not know; I will guide them on paths they have not known. I will turn darkness to light in front of them and rough places into level ground… I will not forsake them.”
Imagine your life. Your spouse, kids, job, pets, home, family, friends, favorite restaurants, all things familiar- then move to a totally different place you’ve never even been. You know no one, have to learn the roads, find new friends, activities, jobs, church (some of these go unfound). Just when you start to feel comfortable in your new state, your spouse and companion has to leave you. How would your daily routine change? You’re left alone with no family near you, no husband to share duties with.. for 6 months minimum.
I am so blessed with such a hands on husband. He does all the yard work, trash, bills, more than his share of laundry, and can take care of our son 100%. Anything that I do with the baby (diapers, bath, food, play) my husband does as well. He is my extra set of hands and many times my sanity. When I’m cooking he’s cleaning, when I’m working he’s taking care of our son. So for him to be out of the country will leave me 2 hands to do the work of 4. What if the car breaks down? The AC stops working or something awful like a pet dying? These 2 hands will have to figure it out. Add that in with the emotional toil that separation with the love of your life brings… Any family that has gone through deployment knows exactly what I am talking about. As the ‘D-date’ dwindles from being months away to only weeks away my anxiety increases. I could be totally wrong, since we’ve never been through an actual deployment, but I feel like the anticipation and planning phase might be the hardest. I just want to get it started to get it over with! The anticipation is killing me! (Ask me in month 4, and I may be saying how much harder it is, haha!)
The military life is known for its unreliability of time frames and dates- because there is so much up in the air. Your life has to be lived in the “hurry up and wait” mentality. Hurry up and get everything prepared you need for your husband to be gone, then wait until we say he has to go. Yes we have a date that he leaves, but its like a baby’s due date.. only 10% of the time will it actually be on that date. We were told in fact that it could be any time with only a week’s notice. If that doesnt make you cherish each day together, I dont know what will!
Our first year of marriage, my husband was away at bootcamp and then training. It taught me a lot about myself but I was so thankful when we finally got to start our life together, together! This time it will be different because he wont be close enough for me to visit every few months, and now we have a child. I can’t imagine having to say goodbye to my son for 6 months. What a sacrifice my husband is making. For men though, they want to go out and fight for something. It is in their nature to protect and provide. Fathers have said goodbye to their families to go off to war since the beginning of war. Women have a longing to nurture and care for, which is why my heart goes out to all the mothers who deploy leaving children behind. Its a heart wrenching reality. Nevertheless, I know there will be tears on the day my husband hugs and kisses his son goodbye. Neither one of them will be the same the next time they see each other.
I know that we need difficult times like this; it’s what makes us stronger. I have to look at this as an opportunity to grow as a wife, mother, and Christ follower. When I think about it that way, I almost feel excited! (almost I said!) There are lessons to be learned and character to be chiseled.
I have been preparing physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have faith, even if its as small as a seed on some days, that this road we are about to travel may be dark and unknown, but we will not be alone.
Deployment is the Sea of Galilee, and I am Peter. And Jesus is Jesus! As I step out of the boat onto the rolling waves of the unknown, the unbelievable becomes reality. And when (not if) my faith slips due to fear, I will not be abandoned to sink, His HAND will be extended towards me to grab hold.
“About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”
But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!“
Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
“Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said.“Why did you doubt me?” When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.”
~Matthew 14 : 25-33